I have not been a good disciple.
I have not hagah-ed over Your Word as is expected of me.
I have allowed myself to become so busy that I fail to prioritize You.
I have failed to seek You out above else,
Failed to turn to You for advice instead of to the world.
I search in the world, though I know that all it takes for me to be free is surrender.
And still I have held tightly to my own ambition, loosing my grip on discipleship and relationship with You in order to grasp stronger the things that I think will satisfy.
I am not worthy to call myself Your disciple.
Yet by name You call me, Your disciple.
And now I choose to let go, to loose my grip on the world to pursue and clench in my hands that which is far more satisfying and everlasting.
I surrender to You everything for which I’ve searched in the world — may the weight of my worry rise from the shoulders that bore it.
I choose once again to seek You out above all else, and You welcome me back gladly.
You still see me as a sheep without blemish.
You do not see me as anything less than the Lion that You created me to be.
You love me in my unfaithfulness.
You've instilled in me a fighting spirit, Oh Lord,
One that requires more than to just sit idly by.
I long to be in the forefront of Your army,
And fight even if I die.
This lion is roaring, roaring, roaring,
Begging to be cut loose,
And craving to pursue that battle, Lord,
Which will not end in a truce.
For with Your strength and power we will overcome it all,
And watch with gladness in our hearts as Babylon takes her fall.
I want to save Your people, Lord,
To save them from themselves,
Just as You once saved my heart,
You saved me from myself.
And now I ask, I beg of You,
Please show me what do to.
How do I manage this spirit, Lord,
That craves wild and adventure so?
For what purpose have You bestowed this unto me,
a lion fervently chasing a doe?
"Lie down and rest and walk with Me, my child,"
You spoke to me so softly.
"Your time will come if you wait a while,
You needn't be so haughty."
"Lie down beneath the tree and skirt the sun's overbearing heat,
Let Satan run and prepare Himself for a sound defeat."
"Meanwhile just put your trust in Me,
And remember that it was I
Who saw you fit to be this way
And made you as my lion."